There are a lot of weird diseases out there. No-one knows them all. I’ve only come across one case of Persian-cat-itis in my life but it was a pretty hideous one. That said, they usually are.

Persian-cat-itis gets its name because the sufferer develops an unsightly ‘dinged in’ look in the face, not unlike that of a Persian cat. The patient may also present with increasingly hirsute body parts and an unusually high love of cream and fish.

Treatment involves the creation of a human-sized catflap and the acquisition of many comfortable places to sleep. The symptoms normally wear off a couple of decades after death.

Then follow my patented cure. This works pretty much every time.

First of all, do a few stretches. Limber up. Get those muscles working. When you have generated a light sweat, get out into the street and try and hunt yourself an archaeopterix. If you’re struggling to identify one, it’s extinct anyway, so don’t worry about it.

If you do identify one and you do manage to capture it, you can now let its blood on your sacrificial altar. This should cure your stubbed toe.

Failing that, go and see your local Jesus Christ. If he is unable to cure you, he should be able to refer you to a specialist who can.

Yep. I see it often. That’ll be leprosy, that will.

Leprosy is a horrendous affliction that is very difficult for doctors to cure. Treatments generally involve the application of leeches to the afflicted area, although exorcism can sometimes do the trick.

Other than that, your options are limited. However, there is one surefire cure that is 100 per cent effective. You simply need to encourage Jesus Christ our saviour to touch you with his healing hands.

If you haven’t got a Jesus Christ available in your area, just drink plenty of water and it should hopefully wear off in a day or two.

Many people who work in offices believe that people have different characters and that occasionally there is some sort of conflict between these two people. As a doctor every bit as well qualified as Dre, I can assure you that this is not the case.

Irritating co-workers are actually unwell. They have been infected by a virus that I have termed ‘arseholitis’.

Fortunately, there is an easy cure. Leeches are underutilised in this day and age, but the application of a single leech within the subject’s nostril has been proven to cure arseholitis in my own clinical tests. Unsavoury political opinions were reduced by 10 per cent within just five minutes and annoying whistling noises were eventually eliminated, given successive treatments.

Most of us suffer from stress at some point in our lives, but for some unlucky people stress is a part of everyday life. This is not a healthy way to live your life, so you need to find ways to relieve stress and really blow off some steam.

The answer? Fun – or more specifically, online bingo! Playing bingo games with like-minded people online can be a great stress-reliever, allowing you to let your hair down, chat to your newfound friends and enjoy the thrills and spills of 75-ball or 90-ball bingo.

Online bingo does not have the same risks as casino games, so you don’t need to worry about spending all of your money on your new stress-busting hobby. As long as you play in moderation (i.e. a game or two every now and again) and look out for free bingo and penny bingo games, you should be fine.

The Wink Bingo site has lots of these budget games on offer, as well as a number of enticing welcome offers, so newcomers to online bingo should consider it their first port of call.

So give it a try – get online to play Wink Bingo games and kiss your stress goodbye!

Thyroid conditions are often contributors of weight gain. Some of us will go and see a doctor in the hope that something could be prescribed to help control the weight. In most cases there is no cure and the symptoms would ease by loosing weight using exercise. This is the alternative health advice given by doctors to help with tiredness and aching muscles. Simple changes in diet such as eating more fruit and vegetables, walking when possible cutting fizzy drinks for water and sugar free alternatives will all help loose pounds. You may need to try different routines to see which one works for you – swimming, gym, exercise classes or Yoga are all worth a go.

Vitamin D is a essential part of good health and is produced by your skin and absorbed by us. Getting sufficient Vitamin D is more of a issue for us living in colder countries rather than in a hot climate where there is plenty of sunshine. Vitamin D is also present certain foods and needed for healthy skin and bones. A few minutes in the sun is adequate enough for your skin to absorb enough rays to produce the vitamin D levels needed by the body. For children yoghurts often contain added calcium and vitamin D to promote healthy bone growth.

Many people believe that sunbeds are a safe alternative to sun tanning however as well as the UV rays given out by the sun, sunbeds too give out harmful ultraviolet rays which cause damage to the DNA in your skin cells which in turn can cause cancer. The intensity of the ultraviolet rays from Sunbeds can actually be 10-15 times more harmful then that given out by the mid day sun. using sun screen or by cutting your time on the sun beds does not mean that you will be less at risk as you will not be protected from the damage or the effects of ageing.

As we become more and more health conscious one of the issues which have been raised is the risk associated with Sunbeds and Tanning. However on the other side people are being targeted more and more with pictures and images of models with the perfect tan and skin tone which many teenagers and young people try and aspire to. Organisations like cancer research are trying to promote the risks associated with Sunbeds and the harmful rays from the sun in a attempt to protect people from Skin Cancer. Beauty professionals have also joined the strategy by promoting skin care creams which include UV protection.

Migraines is a severe headache which is suffered by millions all over the country. The actual condition effects over 10% of people worldwide and unfortunately it is three times more common in women then in men. The symptoms are characterised by moderate to severe headaches and nausea – for sufferers it effects day to day life and some have even said that they need to hide away in a dark room until it subsides. There are medicines available on the market today which can be prescribed or bought over the counter in the aim to help either reduce or prevent the frequency of the migraine.