Once you have registered with your local Jesus Christ, you will probably be called in for an initial appointment to evaluate your health. It may be that your particular Christ is off work that day, in which case there may be a locum saviour.

Jesus Christ is not infallible, so you may occasionally need to ask for a second opinion from an alternative prophet, such as Mohammed. They should all have roughly the same background, but interpretation of symptoms does differ from religion to religion.

Having made a diagnosis, your Christ may not be able to offer you an appropriate treatment, in which case you may be referred to a specialist.

As a doctor, every bit as real as Dr Octopus, trust me on this one. Consuming cake – any kind of cake – will NOT make laryngitis worse.

Well, maybe it will a bit, but not much. Choose your cake carefully and you should get away with very little additional discomfort while consuming it.

My recommendation would be that you go with stottie cake. This may have more to do with my not particularly liking sweet food than anything else, but all the same, that’s my advice – take it or leave it.

And when I say ‘take it or leave it’ what I actually mean is ‘take it’.

As a doctor every bit as medically authoritative as Fox, Dre and Evil, you’d do well to heed my advice. A snapped arm can be satisfactorily healed through judicious use of glue.

Science is a religion nowadays, and as such can be whatever we want it to be. Different doctors ally themselves to different faiths and advice will differ. The majority of doctors will instruct a patient who has suffered a broken arm to attend a hospital immediately. Others, with different beliefs, will advise that person to apply Pritt-Stick to the bone and hold the arm firmly in place for two minutes while the glue sets.

If this approach does prove unsuccessful, seek genuine medical help immediately.

Part 1 – Feather Duvets

Many people believe that they’re allergic to feathers in pillows and bedding. But they may not be blaming the true cause. True feather allergy is rare and in most cases, the house dust mites on the feathers cause the symptoms. This usually causes people to feel like they are allergic.

After a long distance run it is important to warm down properly, much like you would warm up before a race. Stretching the muscles is an essential part of warming down otherwise your legs will ache for a while after the run! If you know how to warm up before a race it is pretty much the same to warm down, making sure that all parts of your body are fully stretched. Breathing correctly can also help the circulation in your body and all these elements will contribute to you feeling replenished and ready to run again in no time!

1. Reduce Stimulant Intakes
It could be a good idea to reduce or remove the amount of stimulants you put into your body. This should reduce the amount of sweat you will have to deal with. Stimulants may come in the form of caffeine found in soft drinks, coffee, chocolate and sugar etc.

2. Eat Healthily
Eating the right foods can also help to significantly reduce sweating by calming the sympathetic nerves, which act as stimulants in sweat production. There are many herbs in particular than can help reduce sweating.

3. Wash Your Face
Keeping your face clean is a great way to help prevent facial sweating. Be sure that when your face is washed, you use cold and clean water – otherwise you will get the adverse effect! Dry your face with a clean towel or small dry wash cloth.

4. Reduce Stress
Stress is a large factor in hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating). Learning yoga and meditation techniques will help your stress levels and body temperature, which will reduce excessive sweating significantly.

5. Have Short Hair
Having shorter hair will allow more air to get to your head. This will allow air flow through your hair and onto your head, which could help to reduce excessive face and head sweating.

There are many tips and tricks that people advise for curing a common cold. The best thing to do really is get plenty of sleep and rest. If you still don’t feel good it is recommended to drink plenty of fluids, water is best and take a recommended dose of paracetamol. At night time you can take something like Night Nurse which basically knocks you out for the night, helps you sleep better, breathe more easily and generally feel better the next day. There are many other things that help cure a cold but take it from me, Night Nurse does the trick every time.

Training for a long distance run can be quite important to some people and getting everything right on the day will come naturally to you if you prepare properly. Grdaually building up to the final day will help you relax, get used to the distance and help you breathe properly. Most importantly though is warming up and warming down before and after a long run.

Your muscles will thank you after a run if you have warmed up and down properly. Yesterday I went for a 5 mile run and made sure I warmed up first. Afterwards I walked for a while to warm down and my leg muscles were not sore at all.

Like running with shin splints, this is a massive no-no. If you’ve got any sort of muscular problem, no matter how minor, let it rest for a couple of days before embarking on any significant training.

I had a torn hamstring and I ran with it for a couple of months. I was training for a half marathon and felt like I had to. By the end, I ran once a week, because that’s exactly how long it took until I felt like I’d recovered.

Precisely one second and one step after finishing the half marathon (which had passed without hamstring pain) I discovered I couldn’t walk and nor could I walk properly for months afterwards. It’s still hugely confusing that I could run 13.1 miles in that condition.

Afterwards, I went to a physio and he said he could get his thumb in the hole.

As a man growing up in a mixed school you often came across the crazy world of menstruation and period pains, whilst growing up you think this is a myth, or girls simply attention seeking and has got to be the best reason to either get time off or crave attention. When you get a little bit older exactly the same happens and many people all over the world use the taboo subject to get extra days off or receive unnecessary sympathy from friends or colleagues. The only time I ever give this recognition is if my partner is doubled over as I’m sure that if they are not they can rectify this will pain killers? Whats your opinion?